Ever had one of those days where everything is going just fine and dandy, and then—bam!—out of nowhere, someone or something pushes your buttons, and suddenly, you're not the calm, collected person you thought you were? You go from a gentle simmer to a full boil in seconds flat!
When you get triggered like that, it's usually because you've made it mean something. For example: "I don't feel heard", "I don't feel respected", "no one values me", " I feel judged" etc. So triggers aren't just a random outburst, oh no, it's your "pain body" coming out to play and your unresolved past wounds are coming back for a repeat performance!
Family members are experts at hitting our pain body’s trigger buttons. No matter how much you love them, they somehow know exactly how to make you lose your cool. When someone makes you mad, or upsets you, it’s not really about them. Sorry to say, but it’s all about you and your unresolved baggage.
Think of the pain body as a collection of old emotional wounds lurking in your energy field, waiting for the right moment to pop up and be heard.
Whether it’s anxiety, anger, hurt, or just that nagging sense of discomfort or annoyance, your pain body is always hungry for more, because it wants to be RIGHT and it wants to justify WHY you've been sooooo wronged. And the more you justify it, the more you feed it, and the stronger it gets, turning you suddenly into a frothing boiling beast!
So, how do you tame the beast and get out of this trigger trap?
First, recognise that your pain body needs you to identify with it to survive. When you say, “I’m so stressed” or “I’m furious,” or, “I feel so insulted”, you’re feeding the beast. The moment you put an "I" in front of those feelings, your pain body is winning. Instead, start noticing it as something separate from you—a temporary visitor that’s not here to stay.
Next, don’t try to control, judge, or fight your negative emotions. That only makes them stronger. And definitely don’t try to think your way out of it, because all your thoughts in that moment are coming from—you guessed it—the pain body.
It’s like trying to wrestle with a shadow: you’ll just end up exhausted and frustrated.
Instead, try this: let it be! Just observe the emotion like you’re watching a storm pass by. You don’t need to jump into the rain; just sit back, sip your tea, and watch the clouds roll past. Your pure awareness is like sunshine breaking through, and with that light, your pain body starts to shrink.When you’re aware of it, you create a gap between yourself and the emotion. What was once “I am so annoyed” becomes “I notice a feeling of annoyance.” The power shifts back to you, and the pain body loses its grip.
Don’t let the pain body fool you into thinking you’ll never be free or that there’s something wrong with you for feeling this way. Instead, tune into your breath or focus on the something else. Step back from the drama, and just observe. In that quiet space, you’ll find a sense of peace emerging, like finding calm in the eye of a storm.
Remember: you can be free even in the midst of your pain.
Freedom doesn’t mean the pain vanishes; it means you’re not controlled by it. You become so grounded in your true self that whether the pain sticks around or leaves, you’re still you—calm, centred, and peaceful.
Easy peasy!
Here’s my message to you this month: put and end to the trigger trap by making peace with your triggers and the emotional storms they bring. Most of our suffering comes from resisting our pain body, believing there’s something wrong with us, or with the people who trigger us.
So next time your pain body shows up, greet it like an old friend who's overstayed their welcome, and watch as its power fades.
All it really wants is to be heard!
The choice is yours—do you feed it and let it grow, or simply observe, accept, and let it fade away? Even in the heat of the moment, freedom is possible. And freedom means not being dragged down by your trigger, no matter how intense it feels.
In that moment of acceptance, true peace returns. And within that peace, you rediscover your true self—finally free from the pain of the past.
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