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  • Writer's pictureJakkie Talmage

Do you approve?

Are you ready for the next revelation about yourself? This one might just change your life!

So firstly, here are some questions for you…

If you didn’t fear judgement, what would you do?

If you didn’t care what others thought, how would you behave?

If you didn’t need approval, how different would your life be?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions because it will show you how much of your life’s decisions and behaviour are dependant on what others think. It will also show you how much you need others to make you feel good about yourself. It may also be an indication of how secure or insecure you are about revealing your true self.

Our greatest need is to be loved and to be accepted and sometimes, without realising it, we will go to great lengths to get it. To feel love and approval runs deep within our DNA, it’s what keeps us safe. If we are the black sheep, or the ‘outsider’ within our group, then we run the risk of being ridiculed, not being accepted, and in our ancient past, we were killed for it. So if we didn’t feel love and approved of as a child, as an adult we’ll be constantly seeking the love and approval we never had to make us feel wanted, worthy and valuable.

In the past, we used to give and receive love, validation and approval from a small pool of people who were usually family members, school teachers, neighbours and friends. This felt safe and predictable.

Today however we are connected to millions of people on the internet, and people are seeking love, approval and validation through social media. As a society we are becoming obsessed by our ‘likes’ to confirm how much we are valued and approved of. And we have started to believe the symbols of confirmation from virtual strangers as a true indication of our worth.

We've become addicted to the chemicals oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin which are released into our bodies whenever we are shown approval, love and validation. Our mind and body no longer recognises the difference between heart felt love, and the hit of chemical love. This is why some people get addicted to love, but what they're in fact addicted to, are these feel good hormones.

If you are one of those who seek constant love, validation and recognition from others, then you’ll probably find you’re acting out unhealthy patterns and your life has become reliant on getting the ‘fix’ you need. If you rely on others for their approval of you, or to give you the love you crave, then you’ll be forever seeking it, never truly feeling content and happy. You'll also probably be feeling quite exhausted!!

The only approval you need is the approval from yourself. 

This is the journey of self love and self worth. We wouldn’t need constant validation or seek love and approval from others if we loved and approved of ourselves. In fact our lives would be completely different if we didn’t care what others thought of us. 

We are such complicated beings! We’re a messed up mix of over or under active hormones, unfulfilled childhood needs, unresolved childhood hurts, on top of our yearning to express our true talents and desires without fears, shame or judgement from others. 

No wonder we’re in conflict most of our lives and have no idea why! 

However, strip all that complication away, who we are on a soul level is just a pure vessel for love. A receiver of love and a giver of love, and how you express that love is up to you.

So I put these questions to you again and I invite you to answer them honestly.

If you didn’t fear judgement, what would you do?

If you didn’t care what others thought, how would you behave?

If you didn’t need approval, how different would your life be?

My message for you this month is to remind you to just BE YOU. You don’t need anyone else’s love and approval to validate your existence. Just by being alive, you are worthy. 

And when you approve of who you are and get your true worth, without the need to prove anything to anyone, the struggle disappears. You will then feel your vibrant energy that is uniquely yours. This vibrational frequency that is uniquely you is your gift to humanity, and it shines when you express yourself freely.

When you live your truth, and express who you are, all the cells in your body slot back into alignment. You feel good, on your own, without needing others to feed you the love and approval you crave.

So now is the time to do that thing that’s been holding you back, the thing that you’ve not done because you’ve been worried what others will think of you. 

Stop hiding, be brave and take a leap of faith and enjoy expressing yourself.

Now is the time to step up, and be proud of who you truly are.

What's not to approve about that?

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