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  • Writer's pictureJakkie Talmage

Master Your Pain With Gain

You know me, I believe we can overcome any adversity. It’s all mindset right?

But what if your body or mind starts to fail you? What if some things you just can’t overcome, like an incurable disease, or a physical condition that no amount of ‘positive thinking’ can help. Or you've been hurt so deeply, there feels no way to rise above it. What if there are some things that just can’t be changed. What then?

Surrender? Hold up the red flag and admit defeat? Let go and accept your fate?

Last year, just after my mum passed away, I was diagnosed with severe arthritis of the left hip. My mum suffered arthritis in both hips, had a hip replacement on one side and was scheduled to have the other side replaced. I had no signs of a hip problem until the day she died, then something triggered it. An ancestral DNA pattern was somehow switched on and so a hip replacement was clearly my fate. 

I wasn’t having this! I didn’t want to believe this was my destiny. Especially seeing as I’ve always been so careful with my body, keeping it fit, healthy and exercised. There was NO WAY I was going down the same path as my mum. I refused to accept my condition and continued to do all the things I’ve always done despite it. 

But this didn't work. 

The pain in my hip was getting worse and I was getting more and more restricted with what I could do. I couldn’t walk far without my hip seizing up. I couldn’t do my yoga as it was so painful. I couldn’t continue circus classes. I couldn’t even do treatments anymore.

This was disastrous! 

Because I believe we can self heal, I did everything to try and heal my hip. I did all the right self healing meditations, I created new timelines with positive thought and imagination, I changed my diet, I used anti inflammatory herbs, I was seeing a chiropractor, a physiotherapist and so many specialists that claimed they could fix me. I was getting so angry with myself because how come I couldn’t heal myself, when I'm so good at healing others?

I was at my wits end, nothing was working, so I gave up and put myself on the waiting list to have a hip replacement. I stopped being so precious about it and finally accepted that this was the only way forward. This was clearly my only option and sadly my fate.

When I gave up and accepted, something miraculous happened.

A few weeks ago I managed to climb a mountain with NO PAIN and NO problem! Something that I never would've been able to do 6 months ago.

I didn’t set out to climb a mountain, it just happened!

My partner and I were away on a trip, and one of the villages we stayed at had a towering mountain behind it. I noticed there was an easy 2km walk to a lookout, presumably to look at the mountain, so I suggested we did the walk, as I reckoned my hip would just about cope with 2km.

However once we were on the path, it became obvious we were on the wrong walk. There was no lookout, only from the top of the mountain! The top being a strenuous 3 hour vertical climb! My first reaction was that I needed to turn around RIGHT NOW and abort this silly misleading path. But I was also aware that so far my hip felt fine. So I suggested we just took the next few steps up and see how I felt then.

I did this with the next step, and then the next, and planned to keep going until my hip screamed at me to stop. It didn’t scream at me, in fact not even a murmur, I just kept taking the next step and the more I climbed, the more excited and exhilarated I got. It was a tough climb too, slippery, rocky, with ropes, chains and sheer drops. But I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, then 3 hours later I was standing at the top, and felt on top of the world!! 

I couldn’t believe it, I’d done it! I was even able to slip and slide back down, which was even more challenging. But I did it. The next day I thought I’d pay for it, and probably wouldn’t be able to walk ever again, but after a few stretches and a hot bath, I WAS FINE!!

And I’m still fine! AND I’m starting to be able to do normal things again!

I believe it all changed when I gave up ‘trying’ and ‘forcing’ my hip to be different, and instead I surrendered and accepted this is how it is now. I got to know my hip like a friend, and instead of trying to get rid of this painful infliction, I treated it like a child that had special needs. I got to know my body and what it needed. I treated it with care and love. I made it part of me and accepted it was part of my ageing process. I gave my hip what it wanted: rest, baths, gentle stretches and strengthening exercises, but most of all, I stopped being angry at it and forcing it to do things it didn’t want to do.

A few months have past and I’m noticing I’m not obsessively thinking about my hip anymore. The pain and restriction has now stopped being the focus of my life, and has instead become my 'new normal'. I'm loving myself, accepting myself and going with the flow with the journey of my aging. 

So my message to you this month, is to stop forcing or resisting your life, whatever the discomfort, annoyance, infliction or pain you have, and instead surrender and be curious as to what’s about to unfold for you during this next phase of the journey.

Instead of judging and labelling your life when it doesn’t go as planned, trust your life and allow your path to unfold without expectations. Step by little step, keep going forward and before you know it, you'll be on the other side of the challenge.

And when you accept and allow things to unfold with a sense of curiosity, as opposed to trying to control or 'fix' the outcome, it creates flow, which opens doorways to miracles. 

And when you are flowing with what is, as opposed to resisting what is, you are more able to see the divine plan unfolding and taking you into a direction that is all meant to be. When you wholeheartedly believe that life is working ‘for’ you, not ‘against’ you, and everything is in divine order, then you will set yourself free. 

It’s not what happens to you in life, but it's how you choose to respond to life. This is the key to mastering your power and ultimately your happiness.

So keep climbing your own mountain with a sense of curiosity and wonder in every step you take. And once you reach the top, you will discover the most fantastic view, which has always been there waiting for you to open your eyes and marvel it. 

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